The Ends or the Means?

A friend texted me the other day about a problem he was having with an employee:

How do you tell someone to stop being stubborn? I just tell my kids to stop being idiots.

But I don't think that works as a manager.

I don't have kids so I'll have to take his word on the first part. But I have 10 years of management experience.

What stubbornness was Friend describing? He gave the employee an assignment, and the employee wanted to do it their own way. 

Friend didn't like that, and so they had some back and forth about it. They each made their cases.

Employee sent supporting documentation, showed stats supporting it.

But Friend stood his ground. 

Ultimately, they couldn't agree, and Employee went on to do it their own way.

Friend thought his employee was being stubborn and didn't know what to do about it.

So he sent me a text.

Who was wrong?

Let's examine the motives of each:

Friend's Motives: He sought ways to get them to use his method. His method probably works great (for him!), maybe even saves time. He wants to be helpful.  

Employee's Motives: They were just trying to do their job. (How do I know? I don't! I give them the Benefit of the Doubt. This is an important value. If we are suspicious of people in our lives, we'll never get anywhere with them.)

Based on the motives, both parties seem to be well-intentioned. 

Given a lack of nefarious motives, all we can do is look at the outcome.

Friend tried to get something done and failed. And in that regard, he was wrong. He should have went a different way.

What about the methods, though?

There's always a "best" method. You won't get any push back from me on that. 

But whose?

Don't know.

Doesn't matter!

Because Friend didn't even get what he wanted. In fact he probably made things worse:

• With Friend's interference: Employee ended up using their own method anyway. With the caveat that they've lost their boss's buy-in, probably some motivation. Employee may even have a strong desire to "prove they were right".

• Without Friend's interference: Employee would have gone about doing it their way, glad to have autonomy and a chance to demonstrate their expertise. They would have felt trusted. Valued.

I'll concede that Friend could have probably used more effective tactics to motivate Employee to see the merits of his method. But that's a hypothetical, and such tactics are a topic for another day.

In this case, he failed to motivate them. 

And employee was doing things their way.

What if they mess it up?

Well that would be a great opportunity for Friend to say "I told ya so!"

Just kidding. That would be awful.

Mistakes will always happen, even when we make earnest efforts to prevent them. You have to make a judgment call about intervening and at what cost (more about this below).

Major or obvious mistakes can and should, when spotted, be communicated so they can be avoided.

But when they do occur, that's a chance for growth. A learning experience.

Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

-Thomas Wayne 🦇

But focusing on a mistake is the wrong perspective. Ever hear of self-fulfilling prophecies?

The more important question is...

What if they succeed?

By allowing employees to use their own judgment you afford them the greatest opportunity to grow as an individual.

It leaves intact their ownership, autonomy and pride in their work.

Better yet, think of all the time you save by not providing your unsolicited input.

In Friend's case, this was a missed opportunity. Add that to the damage he did earlier, and he's on double damage.

"I'm on double damage?"

How did my friend go so wrong...?

His fundamental gaff was in focusing on the Means, instead of the Ends.

Friend cared more about how the thing was done instead of the results.

And, despite good intentions, he worsened his employee's morale and missed out on time savings.

This sort of behavior has been written about exhaustively. Call it micro-management. Lack of experience.

Regardless of the label, there's plenty of good reasons to make sure you're focused on the right thing.

The Ends or the Means: A Pro & Con Comparison

This is the way to think of it: If you can only have one or the other, which will it be?

The Means

Control and say over how a thing is done. In a management scenario, holding your employee accountable to doing things your way. Using your method. Because you know from experience your way works well, perhaps for reasons you may not even be able to articulate. 

 

The Ends 

The results. Holding your employee accountable to a specific outcome (this can be a SMART goal like a specific metric or deadline). You sacrifice control over how the thing is done, as a trade-off for Results and less usage of your own time.

Here's a visualization of what a manager gets when they focus on the Means or the Ends:

		The Means	The Ends
	Done right	✓	✓
	Motivated employee	X	✓
	Autonomous employee	X	✓
	Happy employee	X	✓
	Your time investment	High	Low
	Ownership	Yours	Theirs
	Done "your way"	✓	X

How to focus on "The Results"

Accept that you can only have control over one or the other: the how or the results.

Then shut off the part of your brain that wants to control the "how".

Sounds simple but I've worked with many people at the end of their careers who have never considered this.

And even among those able to appreciate this mindset, not all can adhere to it.

But you can, if you keep at it. Practice makes perfect.

Start with this: Practice communicating what you want, not how you want it done.

And then hold the line.

When asked about the "how", encourage them to find a solution they think works the best.

Remind them that you believe in them and their expertise. They weren't hired by mistake!

In short, trust in them, communicate that trust and last: show them that trust.

For your own peace of mind (and theirs!), just don't worry about the means.

What about all your expertise?

Hey, you're great. No question.

And your way is great. But now you know the risks associated with trying to get things done your way.

The thing to keep in mind is this: others are great too.

And you should be fortunate to work with people like that. But you'll never know how great they are unless you give them the chance to show it.

Plus, fostering greatness in others is one way to grow your own career successfully. As Marshall Goldsmith observed in his book What Got You Here Won't Get You There:

Jack Welch [20-year CEO of General Electric] has a Ph.D. in chemical engineering, but I doubt if any problems he encountered in his last 30 years at General Electric were in any way related to his skill at chemical titration or formulating plastics.

Tweet this Quote

So let them do it their way. But also make sure you know...

When and how to intervene

There aren't many black & white answers in life and management.

Knowing when and how to intervene is no exception.

But I can tell you this: It's not about when to intervene.

If you see a preventable disaster coming, of course you should intervene.

But what is disaster? A typo? A minor budget deviation? Imperfect tracking? Using the wrong software?

Up to you. Just know going in there will be some costs: time spent, delivery of criticism, removal of autonomy, etc.

Intervening is a judgment call you have to make on a case by case basis. 

What really matters is HOW you intervene.

So just HOW do you do that?

Have a strategy

You should devise a strategy to get the message across to your target successfully. Without damaging their  confidence, ownership or autonomy.

In short, get them to understand while maintaining a good relationship.

To do this, spend time brainstorming how you will approach them, why, and how you will get them on board.

Easier said than done. But this is time well spent. 

Remember all that time you could have saved by not arguing with them about how to do things? That time was supposed to have been spent here all along.

Spent on developing a strategy to motivate them.

Here's some considerations you can use as you build your strategy:

1. Are they open to feedback
2. Strength of your relationship with the target
3. Your communication style
4. Your target's ego
5. Who is right
6. Are you both right
7. How your day is going
8. How their day is going
9. Which way the wind blows
10. etc - These are just examples

Might seem like a lot to consider, but this is one of the best expenditures of your time in building relationships in life and in management.

Need help? 

Comment or contact me any time with any question.

Bonus: If you'd like to participate in a free case study, let me know. I'll dive into your scenario with you and publish the results on this blog.